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Conquering Stress! With Dr. Arlene—Not Eliminating Objections Causes Stress

Posted: Tuesday, January 9, 2018 – 12:46 PM

By Dr. Arlene Barro

All day long we are busy eliminating objections to make decisions or influence others on how to make their decisions. This can be an exhausting and stressful process. Implementing my Right Fit Strategies will reduce that stress right now.

Are You Decisive or Indecisive?

Some people have the need to seek the opinion of others before making a decision. In some situations that is critical. For example, if you need additional information to determine whether you should accept a position with a specific employer, it makes sense to learn more about the culture, financial stability and employee turnover. Clearly, if any or all of these are inherent red flags, which are blatant objections, you will not be able to eliminate them. Do not accept the position. If you would like to learn more about how to eliminate hiring objections, please use my app iBrandU4Hire.

On the other hand, if you are asking others to make a decision for you, then you are indecisive. Those people, who are advising you, could give you the wrong advice. For example, at age 16 my brother was trying to decide whether he should attend Yale or Columbia. He never visited either campus. He asked his high-school guidance counselor what to do and followed his advice. The counselor described New York City as bucolic, with rolling hills. My brother thought he was going to a place that looked like Brookline, Mass., where we grew up and John F. Kennedy was born. Instead, he found himself in New York City which turned his life upside down.

Be very careful whose advice you seek. The trajectory of your life could be changed forever with the wrong influence and accelerate your stress significantly.

Seeing the Unseen, Hearing the Unspoken

If you can “see the unseen” you are able to visualize what is actually happening, after digesting a small amount of information. That means you can discern the truth at a particular moment in time without having the whole story. This is a critical skill because one or more objections may be lurking. A wise sales person should be able to see the unseen and use that information to increase the probability of the sale. That same sales person needs to “hear the unspoken” objections. We do not always voice what we think, and sometimes we need others to ask the right questions to elicit our inner thoughts and feelings.

Seeing the unseen and hearing the unspoken objections are not just for sales people. Everyone needs to master these skills to make the right decisions and persuade others to agree with their point of view, when necessary. Those searching for a new position must be able to do this at interviews to convince the employer to hire them.

Learning how to see the unseen and hear the unspoken can significantly reduce your stress. Using this strategy will enable you to minimize wrong decisions in every aspect of your life. Remember, what appears to be true is often just smoke and mirrors. Do not be fooled,

Implementing Right Fit Strategies

I counsel clients of all ages. The Right Fit Strategies that I discuss in my columns are critical for children to learn as they are growing up. Instead of telling children and grandchildren what to do, teach and empower them to make decisions, eliminate objections, speak up and manage their lives. You will be setting the stage for your children and grandchildren to be successful, happy and healthy adults who know how to minimize their stress.

Questions? Email Responses could appear in her next column.

Dr. Arlene Barro, the creator of the Right Fit Method, is a UCLA-trained behavioral educational psychologist and professional speaker. She is the author of WIN Without Competing!, a business, career, and personal strategist and founder/CEO of barro global search, inc. in Westwood. Episodes of her radio show are available at

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